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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097205">A Desperate Journey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheFade/pseuds/IntoTheFade'>IntoTheFade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Desperation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Holding, Omorashi, Solas needs to pee, Wetting, angsty wolf drank too much wine, bladder desperation, it's a long journey, pee desperation, pee holding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:55:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097205</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheFade/pseuds/IntoTheFade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After events at the Winter Palace, Solas regrets drinking all of the wine, as he ends up stuck in a desperate situation in a carriage. Can the Dread Wolf hold on?</p><p>Notes: So, this was a very specific request from a friend: "Please can i get a fic where Solas is desperate to pee but for some reason can't, and Ellana makes him feel better after he embarrasses himself? I kind of just need to see Solas desperate and squirming but you can do what you want with it otherwise".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Lavellan &amp; Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Desperate Journey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were many things Solas prided himself on; pride being the core feature of his complex personality, around which everything else orbited like a sun. He was meticulous. Intelligent. Thoughtful. He had a strong sense of justice. He could rise to the challenge of a battlefield and challenge anyone in a battle of wits. He could be passionate, despite his calm exterior. He cared.</p><p>But above all else, he was fastidious. He let people see only what he wanted them to see. He did not lose control.  He was always, no matter what, in control.</p><p>He had pride. </p><p>He <em>was</em>, pride.</p><p>Unfortunately, pride had been without a body for thousands of years, and occasionally, he forgot that it needed certain things to keep going. It needed food to avoid weakness. Water to avoid dehydration. It needed exercise to stay strong, and sleep to stay alert. </p><p>In the year since he’d been in the Inquisition, he’s also managed to indulge in a number of physical pleasures he hadn’t expected. Honey milk. Frilly cakes. Stolen kisses. The latter was more of a surprise than he cared to admit; as was his sudden love for the woman who’d stolen them.</p><p>But still, he had not lost control. He had taken what was offered and pulled back when pushed for more. He’d avoided anything that might test his self-control or loosen his tongue. He did not put himself in situations where he might become indiscreet.</p><p>He avoided alcohol, and being with Ellana for too long alone, since both, he suspected, would test his limits to the extreme.</p><p>He had broken the first rule at the Winter Palace, however, and now he was paying the price.</p><p>The wine had been syrupy and sweet. The court intrigue intoxicating on its own. Ellana had shone like a jewel, and he, Fen’Harel, had felt more at home than he had in eons, keeping his private joke to himself as he’d watched the machinations unfold.</p><p>Here, the finely dressed players drifted to and fro, engaging in petty gossip and intricate back-stabbing, never knowing that the elven serving man who watched them so closely, possessed more power than they’d ever know. </p><p>He had, for the evening, allowed himself to be reckless. The servants refilled his glass again and again, and he sipped, and smiled, and followed Ellana with his eyes hungrily from across the room.</p><p>In all of the excitement, however, he had forgotten about one very basic bodily need, and now, as he sat uncomfortably in one of the Inquisition carriages as it trundled away from the palace and out into the night, that bodily need was beginning to make itself known.</p><p>He shifted slightly in his seat, as a sudden twinge in his bladder cut through the pleasant languidness of the wine. He had a bench to himself, and opposite him, Ellana, flushed with victory and eyes heavy with exhaustion, gazed out at the passing city, while Vivienne reclined next to her, regal and proud.</p><p>“Truly, darling,” the mage demurred. “A masterful performance. One would think you were born to the Game.”</p><p>Ellana smiled tiredly, and he met her eye and returned it with a smile of his own. Truly, his heart had been a marvel, and if the enchanter hadn’t have been sharing the carriage with them, he would have taken great pleasure in showing her just how marvellous he found her.</p><p>“I’m not sure how much good I did,” she replied, ever the self-critic. “But Celene and Briala will have to find a way to work together somehow. With Corypheus’s forces on the move, there’s too much at stake for petty squabbling.”</p><p>“Never under-estimate the noble’s ability to squabble over petty things,” Solas advised, a glint in his eye. “But know that you struck a firm blow to wasteful politics this evening. Your performance with Florianne will be the talk of Halamshiral for months, and they will have no choice but to line-up to court your favour.”</p><p>“For once, I must agree with my apostate companion,” Vivienne responded smoothly. “There is nothing like a scandal to keep the court occupied, and you unearthed enough scandal tonight for them to pick at for years.”</p><p>Solas inclined his head.</p><p>“A carcass of petty politics that will act as a catalyst for greater change,” he agreed.</p><p>Ellana held his gaze for a long second in consideration, and then nodded and sighed contently, relaxing back in her seat and closing her eyes, as the steady rocking motion of the cart lulled her towards sleep.</p><p>That same rocking motion was, at that moment, beginning to make Solas undeniably restless. He shifted in his seat again, the fog of wine clearing from his thoughts minute-by-minute, and making the steadily growing pressure in his bladder more difficult to ignore.</p><p>He really should have relieved himself before they left the palace. But no matter. He was thousands of years old. He had been through worse.</p><p>He shifted again, the waistband of his tight, military-style trousers pressing uncomfortably into his stomach. Of all the things he had missed while in the Fade, needing to use the chamber pot was not one of them. It was a decidedly irritating sensation. </p><p>“You seem uncomfortable,” Vivienne observed, watching him closely. “Was the Orlesian finery too much for your apostate sensibilities?”</p><p>He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and let his face relax into a mild expression.</p><p>“Not at all,” he said honestly. “It was a fascinating experience. I am merely anxious to reach our accommodation. It has been a while since I sought the Fade.”</p><p>Vivienne did roll her eyes.</p><p>“Of course. The Inquisition offers you insight into the corridors and ballrooms of the rich and powerful, and still you would rather seek trivialities in the beyond.”</p><p>Solas thinned his lips in an effort to hold back a condescending smile. If only Vivienne, who desired power and relevance more than she desired sustenance, knew the barest glimpse of the kind of power he wielded in the Fade, she would chew off her hand to attain it.</p><p>“There is much to be learned in the Fade,” he said coolly. “For those who possess the foresight to seek it.”</p><p>The enchanter flicked her hand dismissively.</p><p>“When the Fade can procure sweet wines from the vineyards of Tevinter and fill my glass before it empties, perhaps I shall give it more of my attention.”</p><p>On that point, at least, he had to concede. He disagreed with Tevinter on principle, but he couldn’t deny that their wine was exceptional; for all that it was beginning to cause him a problem.</p><p>Steeling himself for a few more miles of discomfort, he lapsed into silence and sat back to observe the streets as they made their way out of the city. Opposite him, Vivienne leant her head to the window in a reflection of Ellana’s current pose, and let her eyes slide closed too.</p><p>Solas took the opportunity to surreptitiously readjust his waistband, moving it a little higher to lessen the pressure on his bladder, and breathing a silent sigh of relief. There. He should be fine until they reached their destination. It couldn’t be that far away, after all.</p><p>***</p><p>Approximately forty minutes later, by his estimation, the Dread Wolf was having to seriously re-assess his predicament. Ellana and Vivienne were sleeping quite comfortably, while he had started to feel every ill-considered gulp of wine as a gnawing ache in his stomach.</p><p>They had left the city behind them half an hour ago, and at every minute since, he had expected the carriages to pull up outside some isolated manor home or another, and offer him the opportunity for relief. Instead, they’d passed through towns, scrubland, small villages, and were now beginning to climb up a mountainside, and they still showed no sign of stopping.</p><p>Unfortunately, neither had his growing need for a chamber pot. The pressure in his bladder was becoming impossible to ignore, and he had found himself clenching his muscles at every bump in the road, and wincing as the jolting of the wheels sent sharp spasms of pain through his stomach. </p><p>He really, <em>really</em> wanted to pee.</p><p>He also had no idea how far away they were from wherever it was they were staying, and he cursed himself internally for not paying better attention to the discussions about their accommodation. He had assumed, quite naturally he thought, that they would be taking rooms within Halamshiral itself, but clearly, the Inquisition had made other plans. </p><p>A particularly large bump in the road made his swollen bladder pulse insistently, and Solas let out a hiss from between his teeth and hurriedly readjusted his waistband again. </p><p>Opposite him, Ellana blinked herself back to consciousness, stretching and giving him a sleepy smile when she saw that he was still awake.</p><p>“How long was I asleep?” She asked softly, mindful of Vivienne still dozing at her side.</p><p> “About forty minutes,” he answered, unclenching his jaw with some effort and smoothing his face into calm.</p><p>“Hmm,” she replied. “Not long until we swap carriages then.”</p><p>Relief washed over him at once. It was probably Leliana’s idea; a switch in some isolated area to confuse any would-be assassins who’d thought to tail the Inquisition’s delegation out of the city. </p><p>It was a clever ruse, and it would also provide him with the break in the journey he needed to slip behind a convenient tree and release the throbbing pressure between his legs. He made a mental note to thank the spymaster later for her ingenuity, and turned to the window to watch expectantly for the new transport that was bound to meet them soon.</p><p>Not long now, he promised himself. And he certainly wouldn’t be making the same mistake again.</p><p>Still, it was closer to half an hour later when their carriage finally began to slow, and Solas’ need had begun to reach a firmly disagreeable level of discomfort. The situation was made even worse, because Vivienne had woken soon after Ellana, and he would rather drink all of the tea in Thedas and bow his head to a Tevinter noble, than admit to the enchanter that he was in dire need of a rest stop.</p><p>Consequently, he had spent the last thirty minutes sitting rigidly in his seat, his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes fixed on the passing countryside, as every jolt and jostle of the carriage made his muscles tense and his yearning for relief grow. </p><p>He would be damned to eternal torment before he squirmed in front of anyone; least of all Vivienne.</p><p>It was with a subtle tightening of his pelvic muscles and a barely-there sigh that he opened the door at long last and slipped onto the ground, eyes scanning hurriedly for an appropriate spot to relieve himself in.</p><p>A spike of panic rippled along his spine as he realised that they were exchanging vehicles on an isolated mountainside, and that there were people crowding everywhere.</p><p>Still, he was the Dread Wolf. He would not lose his head simply because he’d been foolish enough to ignore the still-new needs of his body.</p><p>While Ellana and Vivienne moved away to talk to Dorian and Cassandra, who had stepped out of the second carriage, he cast his gaze, increasingly frantically, around the surrounding area. On one side, there was sheer drop off a cliff. Certainly, that would serve his purpose; were it not for the myriad agents and coach drivers wandering blithely to and fro as they saddled the horses and discussed the next route. </p><p>No, he decided. No matter how desperate he was, he would not expose himself to these patrolling shems like some undisciplined child. He had more pride than that.</p><p>On the other side, however, there was only another sheer cliff face, and it was with no small amount of anxiety that Solas realised there was no private place in sight that would allow him the chance to alleviate the now-painful pressure in his bladder. </p><p>He was going to have to hold it.</p><p>Gritting his teeth, and forcing a tight smile for Ellana’s benefit, he climbed back into the new carriage with her, thanking a god he didn’t believe in that Vivienne had chosen to ride with the others for the second part of their journey.</p><p>He drew in a deep breath through his nose and readjusted his waistband again as he sat, and the horses began to pull them onwards again. </p><p>“Are you ok?” Ellana asked him, sitting diagonally across from him on the other side of the carriage.</p><p>“Perfectly,” he replied evenly. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>She studied him for a moment, her head on one side, and then she shook her head with a self-deprecating smile.</p><p>“Ir abelas,” she said. “It’s just that you seemed a bit tense, but after the night we’ve had, that’s only to be expected, isn’t it?”</p><p>He offered her another thin smile, the ache in his bladder growing.</p><p>“Quite,” he agreed. “We will all feel better when we can get some sleep in a proper bed.”</p><p>It was a leading statement, designed to find out just how far away they were from their destination, and Ellana took hold of it obediently.</p><p>“A while to go yet,” she yawned, settling herself back against the window and stretching her legs out across the bench. “Leliana wanted somewhere far away from the city just in case something went wrong.”</p><p>He felt himself pale, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat again.</p><p>“Oh?” He asked mildly. “And where did she find that was suitable?”</p><p>Ellana chuckled.</p><p>“You know Leliana. Somehow, she convinced Duke someone-or-other to loan us his mansion on the other side of the mountain.”</p><p>A cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck, and his bladder gave an insistent twinge that made his hand twitch against his thigh.</p><p>“The other side of the mountain?” He echoed, not quite able to stifle the slight note of panic in his voice.</p><p>“Hmm,” Ellana acknowledged, her eyes sliding shut again. “I’d get comfortable if I were you, ma lath. It’ll be another hour or so I shouldn’t think.”</p><p>And with that, she rolled over and faced the wall, already preparing for sleep.</p><p>Solas stared at her back, his hands tightening into fists and his thoughts becoming agitated. </p><p>An <em>hour</em>?</p><p>They’d already been travelling for nearly two hours, and what had started out as a minor irritation was fast becoming a dire need. Gritting his teeth, Solas clenched his thighs together and drew in a deep breath.</p><p>This was his own fault, and he would just have to live with the discomfort. It wasn’t as if he was actually going to wet himself, after all.</p><p>As the carriage trundled along the winding mountain road, he tried to distract himself from the increasing ache in his abdomen, musing over the whispers he’d heard at court and smiling at the feeble power plays of the shems.</p><p>But then, inevitably, he started to think about all of the wine he’d sipped, and realised with a spark of agitation that he’d probably polished off more than two bottles throughout the course of the evening, and hadn’t availed himself of a chamber pot since early in the afternoon.</p><p>The carriage lurched, and the Dread Wolf resisted the urge to groan.</p><p>The dull ache in his bladder was fast becoming an insistent pulse, and he dug his nails into his thigh in an effort to lessen the throbbing sensation that was beginning to grow in his cock.</p><p><em>Foolish</em>, he chastised himself. And thoroughly undignified.</p><p>With Ellana sleeping soundly, he closed his eyes, and attempted to meditate. </p><p>Less than an hour to go. He could endure for that long, at least.</p><p>***</p><p>An hour later, the self-control that Solas had prided himself on for thousands of years, was no longer anywhere in sight. About ten miles ago, gnawing discomfort had given way to frantic need, and with Ellana still sleeping soundly, he’d given into the desperate urge to cross his legs, and undone the top button of his trousers.</p><p>Every rock the carriage hits now sends a sharp spike of pain through his overly-full bladder, and it’s taking everything he has not to give up all pretence of calm and clutch at himself like a child. </p><p><em>It can’t be much longer</em>, he reassures himself.</p><p>An hour or so, Ellana had said.</p><p>He hisses through his teeth as the carriage lurches again, panic starting to gather in the back of his mind.</p><p>It had already <em>been</em> an hour, and outside the window he can see nothing but dark countryside. He has no intention of ever squirming in front of anyone; but there’s no-one awake to squirm in front of, and he can hardly prevent himself from shuffling from side-to-side in his seat, his hands kneading convulsively at his thighs as he tries to ignore the overwhelming pressure gathering between his legs.</p><p>The carriage turns a corner suddenly, and Solas lets out a panicked gasp, and clutches himself through his trousers as his bladder gives an insistent pulse.</p><p>Oh, <em>fenedhis.</em></p><p>That was too close.</p><p>His eyes drift towards Ellana, and he seriously considers waking her to ask how far away they are from stopping. At this point, he’s genuinely not sure he can hold out much longer.</p><p>He bites his lip, and says nothing. He is <em>the Dread Wolf</em>. He is <em>thousands of years old</em>. He has <em>lead armies</em> and <em>razed empires</em>, and-</p><p>His bladder spasms, and he groans.</p><p>-he has <em>never had to pee so badly in his life.</em></p><p>He screws up his eyes, holding onto himself for all he’s worth as his desperation reaches a crisis point.</p><p>All he can think about is the moment that the carriage will stop. He pictures chamber pots, and the overwhelming relief of pulling out his cock and letting loose the stream of liquid that’s currently pressing against his waistband and driving him to distraction. Then he realises that he probably won’t make it that far; especially not if some noble or another is there to greet them.</p><p>At that thought, a potent wave of panic descends over him. <em>Of course</em> there will be someone there to greet them. There will be introductions, and pleasantries, and a tour of the house and oh, <em>fenedhis</em>, he can’t wait that long. </p><p>Pride be damned. He has to go <em>right now.</em></p><p>He swallows, hard, desperation warring with embarrassment, but then he feels heat start to gather in the tip of his cock, and he knows he’s out of time.</p><p>“Vhenan,” he says, fighting to keep his voice steady. </p><p>She doesn’t wake, and a sudden wave of desperation makes him bring his other hand to his front and hold himself more firmly.</p><p>Oh, <em>gods</em>. He really isn’t going to make it.</p><p>“<em>Vhenan</em>,” he says, louder this time, and she starts to stir.</p><p>He’s still fighting for some kind of composure when the carriage hits a bump in the road, and he tumbles forward out of his seat, both hands too busy clutching at himself to stop him from falling into Ellana’s seat.</p><p>He swears, muscles shuddering with the effort of holding back the flood as he scrambles to right himself again.</p><p>“Solas?” Ellana asks blearily, sitting up and blinking in confusion.</p><p>“<em>Vhenan</em>.”</p><p>He was trying for composure, but it comes out more like a whine. Ellana’s eyes widen in shock as she takes in the sight of him, bent almost double in his seat with his hands pressed firmly between his legs, and his expression frantic.</p><p>“<em>Fenedhis</em>, Solas,” she says. “What’s the matter? Are you hurt?”</p><p>There’s no point in denying anything now. How can he, when every bump in the road pushes him closer to the edge, and all he can think about is how badly he needs to <em>let go</em>.</p><p>“Vhenan,” he pants. “I desperately need a rest stop. Please, can you ask the driver to pull over?”</p><p>She hesitates for only a second, a blush rising to her cheeks, and then her eyes soften in sympathy and she pokes her head out of the window to call up to the driver.</p><p>Meanwhile, Solas can only grip the trembling mound of his cock and rock backwards and forwards, as the feverish need for relief becomes an unbearable pulse. This is embarrassing. This is undignified. And nothing whatsoever matters, except for the fact that if he doesn’t get out of this carriage soon he may actually wet himself for the first time in his considerably long life.</p><p>Ellana’s head reappears back inside, and she sends him a look of such aching concern that it makes him feel vulnerable and exposed.</p><p>“We’re still on the mountain road,” she says softly, an apology in her voice. “He can’t pull over.”</p><p>Solas can’t help it. He panics.</p><p>“<em>Vhenan</em>,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. “I can’t wait. I really can’t wait, I have to go <em>right now.</em>”</p><p>To his absolute mortification, she scoots over to sit next to him, and places a steadying hand on his knee. As though he’s a child. As though he’s in distress. </p><p>He is, he supposes, in distress.</p><p>“He thinks there’s a turn-off about two miles away, it should only be another five minutes,” she clarifies. “Will you make it?”</p><p>He closes his eyes, his mouth tensing around a groan, and nods quickly once.</p><p>He doesn’t have any other choice, does he?</p><p>Now that Ellana is sitting next to him, her hand rubbing soothingly over his knee, he is achingly embarrassed, as well as furiously desperate. For a ridiculous moment, he wants to wail in frustration. It shames him to have her see him like this, for all that she’s being understanding.</p><p>The carriage rocks, and he lets out a gasp and tenses his muscles for all he’s worth. </p><p>“It’s ok, ma lath,” he hears Ellana say softly. “Not much longer, I promise.”</p><p>He lets out a whimper that makes his face flame, mortified at his own weakness. All he wants to do is <em>pee</em>, for Blight’s sake. Right now, he wants it more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life.</p><p>“Vhenan,” he pants. “Vhenan, I can’t wait.” </p><p>He opens his eyes in dismay as they hit another rock and he feels a sudden burst of warmth at his fingers.</p><p>“Oh, <em>fenedhis</em>,” he groans frantically. “I’m not going to make it. Vhenan, I desperately need a rest stop, I can’t hold on. Please, please get him to stop. I don’t care where we are, I have to go <em>now</em>.”</p><p>He doesn’t recognise the high pitch of his voice, and his muscles quake as he feels another dribble trickle out of the straining end of his cock, while Ellana sends him an anxious look and pokes her head back out of the window.</p><p>Oh, <em>no.</em></p><p>That small spurt, the mere taste of relief, has his bladder wrestling back control, desperate to release the aching liquid pressing down between his hips. </p><p>“Vhenan!” He cries, panicked. “I’ve got to go, <em>I’ve really got to go right now</em>.”</p><p>Just as he feels his muscles start to give up the fight, the carriage slows and stops, and Solas throws open the door and stumbles out into the cold night air, his fingers frantically fumbling at his trouser buttons without sparing a thought for dignity, or control, or anything else other than the fact that he’s about two seconds away from drenching his briefs like a toddler.</p><p>He barely has time to take hold of himself and aim at the cliff-face, before his bladder finally buckles and he releases a powerful stream of urine that splashes against the rock. He can’t stop himself from groaning weakly as the desperate pressure in his bladder turns into aching relief, and he rests a hand against the cliff and practically keens with pleasure, as he empties himself with a resounding hiss.</p><p>It takes a long time for the stream to end, and when it finally does, he feels empty, and relaxed, and absolutely <em>horrified</em>. </p><p>He returns to the carriage after tucking himself away, with his head bowed low and his face burning with embarrassment. Thousands of years of war; decades of torture at the hands of his enemies; the loss of his whole civilisation - he’s not sure any of them have made him feel as small and insignificant as this.</p><p>He shuts the door behind him without a word, unable to look at Ellana although he knows that she’s watching him.</p><p>What must she think?</p><p>He was worshipped as a god. He has maintained his pride and his dignity in this new world. He is respected in the Inquisition, for all that some may disagree with him. He is an Evanuris. A general. A ruler.</p><p>He is ashamed.</p><p>As the carriage starts to move again, he realises there are tears in his eyes, and he looks sharply out of the window, his hands curling into fists. How much humiliation can he take?</p><p>And then, all of a sudden, Ellana is by his side, slipping an arm around his back and resting her hand on his.</p><p>“Oh, ma lath,” she murmurs. “Don’t look so horrified.”</p><p>To his shock, she nuzzles at his temple, and presses a tender kiss to his cheek. He turns to look at her, and sees that she’s smiling at him with a terrible fondness that makes his heart ache.</p><p>“It’s happened to us all,” she reassures him gently. “And I won’t tell anyone.”</p><p>His throat feels tight. He swallows.</p><p>“I would appreciate that,” he whispers hoarsely.</p><p>She kisses him, and suddenly, nothing feels so bad anymore.</p><p>“You are only a man, my heart, for all that you’re a brilliant one.” </p><p>He sighs, and rests his head on her lap, lulled by the motion of the carriage and the blissful emptiness in his stomach.</p><p>For her, he is just a man. </p><p>It isn’t so bad, after all.</p>
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